


tell me, is it worth it?

by takenbadgering



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Character Study, During Canon, Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, Extended Scene, F/M, Gen, Internal Conflict, Introspection, Mai (Avatar)-Centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27418153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbadgering/pseuds/takenbadgering
Summary: [[ because there is something, and there is nothing / there is nothing in between / and in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer / watching over me, he's singing / "she's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy" ]]- Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomeryaka during the moment Zuko and Mai held eye contact through the prison door
Relationships: Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 22





	tell me, is it worth it?

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd... surprise abby!

* * *

She’s weeping on her knees, standing there. 

Her hands are clenched around her knives and she’s screaming, but there’s no sound.    
Her eyes are blurry and she can’t see through her own tears, but she can see every fleck of brown in eyes.    
Her lungs are burning and she’s exhaling fire, but there’s no heat.    
She’s pounding on the door, but she’s not moving. 

She’s frozen, locked in that cell. Her only view of the outside world is through the small slit at eye level. And all she can see out of it is him. 

He’s shaking, but he’d slid the lock in place with still hands.    
His eyes are saying she doesn’t understand, but he never even tried to explain.    
He’s hyperventilating, but his chest rose and fell evenly.   
His lips part like he’s apologizing, but he’s ripping her heart out all over again—his fingers hold it tightly as it beats erratically against his palm and he’s slowly breaking each valve off and closing each artery in a futile effort to not let her bleed out. 

It means nothing to him, she thinks. 

It meant everything to me, he thinks. 

But clearly not enough, she refuses to let a single drop fall down her cheek. 

You were more than enough, he doesn’t even try to hide his tears. 

When he looks away from her and takes off down the hallway, he takes her heart out completely with that final yank. 

She’s bleeding out on the floor, crying out like the wounded animal she is, taken by surprise by the predator she thought would keep her safe. How foolish of her. 

Her mother is there, tutting and glaring down at her, and she’s speaking harshly but no one is listening. 

Azula is there, laughing so hard her whole body shakes. 

Ty Lee is there, giggling nervously, and she knows she is just doing it so Azula doesn’t lash out and that alone makes her feel a little better about dying on the ground. 

But then, farther back, she catches a flash of soft golden eyes and that piece of comfort goes up like smoke from his palm. 

He’s a coward and a disgrace. She hates him and everything he’s done to her. 

She hates all of their stolen kisses. And the way he would light up when he saw her, even if they weren’t interacting. And how he was always so gentle with her. Even when he shouldn’t have been. When she was being a pill just because she could and when she spat horrible lies at him, he never laid a hand on her or raised his voice at her. Even when he wanted to. Even when she wanted him to.

And here, now, everything is flooding back. 

Her hands are shaking, but she’s still standing tall. She’s staring vacantly at the slit in the door while the dumbass guard is trying to get it open and calling for help. Her cheeks are dry. 

Spirits… she’s like a damned selkie. He ran away with her heart, and she’s doomed to follow him. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> as I publish this, I'm on my way to get my wisdom teeth taken out. F to me.


End file.
